


Early Christmas Present

by Ta_Ma



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Awkwardness, Christmas Decorations, Feelings, First Kiss, Flirting, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Reunions, a tiny bit of angst, so many feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:27:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28221651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ta_Ma/pseuds/Ta_Ma
Summary: Sonny is deciding between chocolate chip cookies and cereal digestive ones when he hears it and freezes. Carisi genuinely thought that he was never going to hear this voice again, but here it is, in a deli, close to nine on a Tuesday night and Rafael Barba is talking to someone at the other side of the aisle. He can’t make out what the man is saying, but the tone is soft and teasing and something twists in Sonny’s belly because he is not ready for this. He needs to leave, now.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 13
Kudos: 63





	Early Christmas Present

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a while since I wrote my last Barisi fanfiction but I wanted to write some Christmas fluff, I really hope that you enjoy it.  
> Please bear in mind that I haven't watched any episode of season 22, I just know that Barba will be back and he will be a defense attorney, but this is me picturing him returning to New York a few weeks earlier than that.

Sonny can feel his back aching as he goes over the case files once more, it’s late and he is the only one left at the DA’s office, but he needs to be prepared for the coming trial. The trial’s date is not until after Christmas, which is three days away, but he still feels like he doesn’t know enough about the case, that the Defense Attorney is going to dig up some shit that he wasn’t aware of or something. He tries to crack his neck to get rid of the stiffness, but when he moves his stomach growls because he hasn’t eaten anything consistent in the last ten hours. He feels how cold his hands and feet are, and how sore all his body is and decides that he can take the files home, have a hot shower, eat something and then go over all of it once more.

  
Carisi packs up his files, puts on his coat and scarf, digs around his bag and coat pockets for his gloves but can only find one. He is so tired that doesn’t bother to look for it, just walks out, phone in hand, pondering if it’s worth ordering an Uber or if he should take the Subway home. When he gets outside, his ungloved hand starts freezing in a few seconds, so he pulls the app to get a car and looks for somewhere to order a coffee to go, just to keep himself warm as he waits. The coffee cart is closed at this time but he knows that there is a half-decent deli around the corner and it’s one of the few places that it’s going to be open but not crowded. 

  
Sonny is so tired and cold that he doesn’t remember to tap on the app to actually get a car before burying his hand and phone inside his pocket, he just wants to be somewhere warm. When he gets to the deli, he goes inside immediately and notices a few people waiting at the counter, so he wanders around for something to eat before ordering. He is deciding between chocolate chip cookies and cereal digestive ones when he hears it and freezes. Carisi genuinely thought that he was never going to hear this voice again, but here it is, in a deli, close to nine on a Tuesday night and Rafael Barba is talking to someone at the other side of the aisle. He can’t make out what the man is saying, but the tone is soft and teasing and something twists in Sonny’s belly because he is not ready for this. He needs to leave, now. 

  
He walks around the isle carefully, hoping that the former ADA is too distracted to notice him, and he is about to succeed, but in the second he steps around the isle that was separating them, he can listen to the end of the conversation. It is in Spanish and Sonny hasn’t really been studying the language anymore, but he understands the end. Barba is not talking to his beau or lover or whatever Sonny’s wounded gut was telling him, he is talking to his mother and the realization makes him stop dead in his tracks. Because it doesn’t matter how long it has been or how to hurt he was when the man left without a word, Sonny Carisi still has a deep respect and some would say adoration for Rafael Barba and his body must know that if he misses the opportunity to see him again, he might regret it for the rest of his life. 

  
Sonny looks up in time to see Barba pocketing his phone and turning around, so he witnesses the exact moment in which the man sees and recognizes him. His beautiful green eyes open and the hint of a smile appears on his mouth and Sonny wants to bury himself in this man’s aura, but he also wants to disappear because his mind has just short-circuited and a million butterflies have started flapping their wind in his belly.

  
“Carisi!” the older man exclaims and he walks a bit closer. “…or do I have to call you Counselor, now?” The tone he uses makes Sonny smile and shake his head.   
“What brings you back here? Barba? Or is it still Counselor?” There’s a strange glint in the older man’s eye before he answers.   
“It is, but you can call me Rafael” his voice has dropped and for a second Carisi thinks that he might have imagined it, but the former ADA smiles warmly at him and he feels his own body getting warmer with it.   
“Then I’ll ask you again to call me Sonny, Rafael” He is joking, he tried for years, unsuccessfully, to get the man to call him that.   
“Do you need to be anywhere or can I buy you a drink, Sonny?”   
For a brief second, he wonders if he should flee, because he has been pulling long hours for days, so he must look horrible and he knows for a fact that his suit is rumpled and his hair is undone. This is not how he had pictured a reunion with Rafael Barba, the man that had inhabited his dreams for several years, but Sonny sees the way the older man is biting his lip, waiting for his response and he has to say yes.   
They walk side by side and it takes Rafael a couple of minutes to get him to confess that he hasn’t eaten a whole meal in a while, so he switches his offer to dinner and Sonny can’t shake the feeling that this is becoming some sort of date and he can’t begin to wrap his mind around it.   
They end up in a place that looks like a mix between a homey little restaurant and a bar and seems to be serving food all night long and Sonny wonders how he has never known about this place, being so close to his work.   
“I’m glad they are still open” Rafael points out, making his way to an empty table as he starts taking off his coat. The place is cozy and warm and Sonny thinks that if it weren’t for the other man’s presence, he could absolutely fall asleep on his chair.   
“Did you use to come here?” He asks taking in how the man in front of him is dressed a lot more informal than what he’s used to. Rafael is wearing dark gray slacks, a soft-looking mustard sweater, that is probably cashmere blend, over a very light gray dress shirt, and he looks amazing.  
“Yeah, as you know, being an ADA means a lot of late dinners and meals at random hours…” he smiles again and Sonny finds that he really likes the sight. “I’m sorry is not a fancier place, but the food is good.” Sonny feels his cheeks heat because he thought he was the only one reading this as a date, but apparently, he isn’t. He looks around to calm himself and sees string lights and tinsel decorating the bar and walls, there are candles on some tables. He doesn’t really know why he does it, but Carisi reaches into his briefcase back pocket, where he has got a lighter, and he takes the candle that’s resting on the side of their table, lights it, and sets it in the middle.   
“Looks fancy enough to me,” he says, softly and the smile he gets in return warms him inside out. 

After they get their food they talk about the squad and how things used to be, but at some point, things get quiet because Sonny still feels sensitive about the way the other man left, but he doesn’t want to sour the mood. It is Rafael, though, who finally brings it up.   
“I know I did it all wrong… but I had to get away…” he says, lowly and his eyes are so open.   
“It hurt, you know…” he finally admits. “When Liv said you had left for good without even saying goodbye.” Sonny takes a deep breath and adds.   
“I know, and it is not an excuse, but I wasn’t in a right place, I needed to figure things out.” Sonny takes a drink and stays silent for a few seconds because what he needs to say will leave things in the open and it may hurt even more. But in the end, he decides that it’s the right moment to speak up.   
“It was painful, you know because I thought we were closer than the others” he starts but he doesn’t look the other man in the eye. “I know Liv and you had been friends for a lot longer, but I thought there was something more…” He takes a deep breath and puts down the fork he has been clutching. “I felt… and maybe it was just me… but I thought you and I were friends and there was the possibility of becoming more than that, but you left without a word… and I was so sad” it hurts, but he’s said it knows and when he looks up, Carisi can see that the older man is as affected as he is. Barba drops his look and stays silent, he is toying with his glass and Sonny dreads that this might be it, that the other man will make up some excuse and leave, but he mutters something and clears his throat to speak again.   
“It wasn’t just you. I felt it too…” the man doesn’t look up yet, so he can’t see the surprise in Sonny’s eyes.   
“Then why didn’t you…” he stops himself at the look Rafael gives him when he finally looks up.   
“You know why” Rafael takes a sip from his glass and lets a couple seconds pass before going on. “At first I assumed it wasn’t more serious than a silly infatuation. I guess I never allowed it to be anything else because that would’ve put everything at risk.” Something must have shown in his expression because Barba smiles at him and adds “Don’t look at me like that. For several months I pinned it to you admiring me as a professional and me being a little too fond of blue eyes and long legs. I also assumed you were straight as an arrow and that if I dared to step up from the bantering and the flirting you’d flee… So that was it.”  
“You weren’t that wrong” Sonny starts, flushing but before he can continue Rafael cuts in alarmed.   
“Are you telling me that I read everything wrong and I’m making a fool of myself here?” his expression has hardened but he stretches his hands to grab the man’s wrist as he shakes his head.   
“No. Not like that” he whispers, which makes Rafael move closer. “But you know I’m Catholic and my family is too. I’m saying that I struggled when I was a teenager when I realized I liked boys and girls and then I convinced myself that I liked women more and had lived my life as a straight guy until I met you…” he chuckles because he feels pathetic. “I’m saying that I blocked a part of my sexuality for years because it was easier, but then you appeared all handsome, smart, and sexy and turned my world upside down.” He watches Barba’s face for some kind of reaction but the man just nods for him to go on. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if you had asked me out or something, because for a long time I wanted it to be purely platonic and it took me months to understand it wasn’t… at least no for my part, because then I convinced myself that someone like you would never want something with someone like me…”  
“I swear I hate this fucking society and its self-deprecating tendencies. What do you mean I’d never want someone like you?” Rafael whispers but Sonny can hear it clear because they are very close now. “I liked you from the beginning, even with that dreadful mustache, but I had built an image of coldness around that squad and when I first met you, I had to be rude.” He turns the hand that Sonny is still holding so he is the one caressing Sonny’s with his fingers and the younger man’s heart lips at the simple and affectionate gesture.   
“You weren’t that rude,” Sonny says smiling.   
“Shut up, I’m trying to stroke your ego here.”   
“Oh, in that case, by all means…” Sonny teases, but he feels so giddy and unsure.   
“I’m just saying that you are kind, clever and so hard-working, and also you are quite younger and hotter than me, so I don’t see why you’d think that…” It feels strange to see Barba so open, to listen to him speaking about feelings and being clear about them, but it also feels so good.   
“I guess that when I first met you I was used to people not taking me seriously, to always not being experienced enough or smart enough…” Rafael rubs his thumb over his knuckles and he feels so safe. “You were so successful and sure of yourself… I assumed you were used to dating smart and rich people…”   
“I was used to not dating at all… Do you know how many proper dates I had in all my years as ADA?” Sonny shakes his head and Rafael smiles as he pretends to count mentally.   
“Two, maybe three…”   
“So you dated as much as I did as a detective?”   
“Are you telling me that you are dating much more now that you are an ADA?”  
“No… this is my first date since being on the job” That earns him a chuckle and then Rafael brings his hand up to his mouth and presses a kiss against the spot he has been caressing.   
“And… do you ever go home with a man on the first date?”   
“I wouldn’t know… I’ve never dated a man before…” Sonny ponders for a second about all the case files waiting for him in his briefcase and decides they can wait a bit longer. “But I guess I could make an exception for you.”   
After that, Rafael refuses to let Sonny pay, since this is supposed to have been a date and they put on their coats and scarves. Carisi can’t stop smiling, even though he feels nervousness lighting his whole body, and ends up whispering a question in the other man’s ear. “Your place or mine?”   
“Mine’s a mess, I haven’t finished unpacking… and it’s kind of understocked” he chuckles, but his hand is back to caressing softly Sonny’s and he has a bit of trouble processing what he just said because he just wants to bury his face in the older man’s neck.   
“That’s fine” He blinks and tries to think. “I mean we can go to mine, I haven’t had much time to tidy it but at least I have drinks to offer… There’s even a bottle of scotch…”  
“What? But you don’t drink scotch” His eyebrows shot up in surprise.  
“That is… not a lie” he admits, slightly blushing, because he didn’t buy it for himself, he bought almost three years ago after a case that had him and Barba going over old files looking until late, they had been bantering and teasing each other, probably openly flirting, and Sonny had thought that inviting the man over without the promise of a good drink would lead to failure. He ponders for a second and misses the way Rafael stared at his pouting lips. “It doesn’t go bad, does it? If let’s say, you keep it a couple years in a cupboard?”   
“Fuck, Sonny” He doesn’t sound upset, but his voice is rougher.   
“What? Is it wasted?”  
“No, it’s not. I’m sure it is perfect, but I really need to kiss you” Barba sounds a little desperate and Sonny feels a pull of arousal making his whole body shiver.   
“Here?” It is not that he is ashamed of kissing a man in public, but they are halfway to the door and there are people scattered at the table and the bar, and it doesn’t feel right for their first kiss, even though he really wants it too. Rafael smiles softly at him and shakes his head.  
“Not here” he whispers before pulling his hand. This time Sonny does get the Uber app working and the car won’t be long, so he lets Rafael lead him outside.   
It’s very cold and it’s beginning to snow, but Carisi doesn’t feel it because the anticipation building in his gut and Rafael’s hand holding his is keeping him warm.   
The ride to his place doesn’t take that long, but Sonny was growing cozy in the heated car, with Rafael’s fingers drawing soothing shapes against his palm. So when they get out, he shivers and pulls the other man to his building. He kind of expects Barba to complain about having to climb the stairs to his flat, but he doesn’t. Apparently, Rafael thinks it’s fun because he chuckles and pulls him against the wall after four flights of stairs, taking Sonny by surprise.   
“Can I kiss you now?” he asks very close to Sonny’s neck, he is pinning him against the concrete and it’s so hot that Carisi’s answer is more a moan than a word. Barba’s lips are warmer than he expected and he kisses passionately, teasing him with his tongue. Sonny feels one of the man’s hands playing with the shorter hairs on his nape, the other one is holding onto his coat’s lapel and he brings his own to Rafael’s upper arms because he needs to hold on to something and they feel stronger than they look and so good.   
Rafael is the one to finish the kiss, following it with short pecks against Sonny’s lips and then he chuckles again and rubs his nose against Sonny’s jawbone before burying his face in his neck. “Sorry… Don’t know what came over me” he mutters, still hiding his face.   
“Don’t apologize, it was really hot” Sonny answers bringing one of his hands to Rafael’s hair, which makes the man pull away just enough for him to look into Sonny’s eyes.  
“Don’t tell me that, we are never going to get to your apartment if you do…” Sonny hums a laugh at this and gives him a soft kiss.   
“Come on, there are only two floors left” he adds before pecking the older man’s lips twice. 

Rafael pulls away from him reluctantly and they start climbing the stairs at a leisure pace.   
Sonny’s place is not big, there’s the living room with an open kitchen, a couple of stools at the bar, a tiny dining table with three chairs in a corner, a couch, and middle-sized tv. But it is cozy and it warms up quite quickly, so Sonny likes it, but he isn’t so sure about what the other man might think about it. Rafael beats Sonny before he can apologize about the size or the class of his place because he dims it worthy with a sure “It suits you, I like it” and sits down in the middle of the couch after taking off his coat. “I think you promised me some aged scotch?” he adds smiling and Sonny scrambles to take off his own coat and fetch drinks.   
Carisi realizes what Rafael did when he puts their glasses on the coffee table because him sitting just in the middle of the couch means that whatever Sonny decides to sit down unless he decides to pull a chair, he is going to be really close to the other man. He takes a deep breath and sits to Rafael’s left and suddenly finds the man facing him, reaching out for one of his hands.   
“Hi,” he says, to say something, because apparently, he has turned into a shy teenager in the time between the kiss in the dark staircase and now.   
“Hi” Rafael goes back to drawing soothing shapes against his palm and smiles at him. “Is this ok?” Sonny nods and relaxes a little but the other man goes on. “Sorry about before… You just told me you weren’t very experienced with men and there I was throwing myself at you in a dark corner” he is making sure to maintain eye contact and that makes Sonny exhale and relax even more.   
“I wanted it too and I want you, very much…” he says and it’s his turn to touch Rafael, so he brings his hand to the man’s cheek and caresses him.   
“We can go at any pace you feel comfortable with,” he says before turning his face to press a kiss against Sonny’s palm, a gesture that makes him melt inside.   
“I like that,” he says softly and moves to kiss the man, this time the kiss is slower and tender. But it soon turns passionate and he ends up being the one to start teasing some tongue. In a minute they are kissing open-mouthed and Sonny’s hands are buried in Rafael’s hair, while the other man’s hands are kneading his arms and back.   
Sonny is the one who pulls Rafael against him until he is climbing on his lap, and he moans against the older man’s mouth when he feels himself hardening because of the friction with Rafael’s leg. He pulls tentatively Barba’s sweater and gets a teasing smile when the man gets the hint and pulls away to take it off.   
“Your jacket too, please” Rafael’s voice is rough and hot, which makes Carisi obey almost immediately. He also pulls his tie free and starts unbuttoning his vest before another pair of hands joins in the task. He lets Rafael take over to his shirt's buttons too, while his own hands explore under the man’s own shirt.   
They stop kissing long enough for them to take in their disheveled state, they pant as they realize that both of them are half hard in their pants.   
“Do you want to slow down?” Rafael asks very carefully.   
“Not really… What I want is to see your face as I make you come…” he may be inexperienced, but he has wanted this man for years.   
“Fuck, Sonny… Yeah, yeah. Whatever you want…” Rafael dives in for another kiss, but Sonny pulls away quickly so he can get rid of the man’s shirt and his own. Feeling the man’s chest hair against his skin is so arousing, but what really makes him whimper is when his hand finally cups Rafael’s cock through his pants, he feels the man bite his lip and buck against his hand and he feels very powerful. 

  
Rafael’s hand finds one of his nipples and now it is Sonny’s turn to moan because the man knows exactly what to do with it, going for a teasing caress before pinching it slightly.   
Sonny opens the man’s zipper and strokes him over his briefs, marveling at how hard he is.   
“Please… Sonny” Rafael whimpers rocking his hips to get more friction. Sonny moves from kissing his mouth to grazing his teeth against his neck and he is very satisfied to feel Rafael’s cock leaking more precum. 

  
They keep rocking against one another, shedding clothes and exchanging kisses and Sonny feels overwhelmed but in the best way because he wants all of it and more. He is determined to bring Rafael to the edge, so he pulls away a bit, panting, and pulls down the man’s underwear, and for a minute he freezes, staring at the man’s penis. It’s thick and just long enough, uncut and dark and he doesn’t really know if he wants to touch it or put it in his mouth or what. 

  
He takes him in hand and loves the way Rafael moans and leans back closing his eyes, he leans against him and kisses his neck as he strokes his cock. Sonny is really enjoying having this effect on the other man and increases the pace, bringing up more lovely sounds. He is determined to enjoy this because he knows that Barba doesn’t really do relationships and he wants to take as much as possible before the night ends. 

  
Carisi is really hard to and he wants to get some release, but he doesn’t want to lose focus on Rafael. He is rubbing himself against the other man’s thigh as he keeps stroking him when Rafael’s hand pulls him closer and he ends up laying half on top of the older man. Their erections are almost touching now and it’s almost on instinct that Sonny pulls his own cock out and takes both of them in hand. 

“Fuck, yes” Rafael moans against Sonny’s neck and moves to kiss him, open-mouthed and dirty. Sonny is really close but he really wants Rafael to come first, so he increases the pace and he relights himself on the way the other man whimpers and tenses his body.   
“Come on, love. Give it to me” he whispers in Rafael’s ear and closes his fist tighter. A couple of strokes and Rafael is coming and so is he. 

It takes both of them a while to come down from the orgasm, Sonny is lying half on top of Rafael, leaning against the back of the couch and he looks at the man beside him. He is panting with his eyes closes, he is sweaty but looks so beautiful. Sonny buries his face against his neck and dreads the moment in which surely Rafael will say that he is leaving and that this is not going to happen again. But the minutes' pass and Rafael starts stroking his flank and when Sonny looks up, he is watching him with a soft content expression, and the dreadful moment does not come. “Hey… Sonny?” When Rafael finally speaks, Sonny wants to smack himself. “Do you… do you want me to go?” Rafael sounds unsure and this is all his fault.   
“No! Unless you want to?” Fuck, great, he sounds like a moron.   
“No… I’m not going anywhere” he whispers but then adds. “Well, maybe to the bathroom because I’m getting sticky here… And then, to your bed?” Sonny extricates himself from his spot on the couch and pulls Rafael with him.  
“Yeah, let’s do that,” he says, smiling and gives him a soft kiss before pulling him to the shower. 

When Sonny wakes up in the morning, he has his arms around Rafael and smiles content. Because it is two days until Christmas and Sonny's apartment isn't even properly decorated, but he has got the perfect Christmas present just in his arms and he could not be happier. 

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you thought^^


End file.
